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Ever find yourself chuckling at the thought of garlic-induced side effects after a Thanksgiving feast? That's just a taste of the hilarity we cooked up in our latest episode. My co-host and I reminisce about the holiday's une...
Ever find yourself chuckling at the thought of garlic-induced side effects after a Thanksgiving feast? That's just a taste of the hilarity we cooked up in our latest episode. My co-host and I reminisce about the holiday's unexpected culinary hits, including a garlic-packed mashed potato dish that left us in stitches, and a Beef Wellington that snuck its way onto our turkey day table. We didn't stop at food; our playful debate over whether apple pie truly needs that scoop of vanilla ice cream will have you picking sides—and maybe your next dessert.
Now, who would have thought soggy french fries could spark such a heated discussion? Well, strap in because we dive straight into the love-hate relationship with this controversial snack, all while sharing some candid tales of parenting mishaps and casual Jedi robes. And when technology decides to test our patience mid-show, you bet we turn those technical snafus into comic relief. Our spontaneous storytelling doesn't end there; we even wrap our heads around the enchanting yet unpredictable possibilities of medieval life roles and sage cleansing rituals, delivering laughs and light-hearted skepticism in equal measure.
As we wrap up this rollercoaster of an episode, spare a thought for the mysterious Kevin, whose anticipated video clip has us wagering on future fame. Our banter about Kevin's enigmatic presence and the adventures of microwaving french fries is as unpredictable as it is entertaining. So, if you're in for a mix of culinary confessions, philosophical musings on time travel, and a rib-tickling peek into our lives, then you've got a seat at our table. Pull up a chair, and let's share some stories on the Ticket Deep show—your go-to for heartfelt laughter and authentic conversation.
https://www.podpage.com/TIDshow
TAKE IT DEEP!!!!
00:07 - Thanksgiving Food and Lost Episodes
13:38 - Soggy French Fries Discussion With Funny Moments
21:18 - Technical Issues and Audience Engagement Discussions
35:41 - Assassination Attempts and News Network Banter
48:01 - Time Periods and Fantasy Roles Discussion
01:00:17 - Vacation Plans and Random Conversations
01:08:29 - Fire Cleansing Ritual With Sage Discussion
01:22:09 - Discussion About Kevin and Predicting Downloads
scale.
Speaker 2:Now.
Speaker 1:I found myself like you somehow.
Speaker 2:Oh, ride the wave where it takes me. I hold the pain, release me. Oh hey, oh, hey, oh nice, this little pop, what we doing? Live Echoes and a challenge Shoutout to an explorer. I Know it's crazy. It's like every time right before I'm like, yeah, I get very excited. Yes, I Think we're at episode 84. Nice still, if I, whatever we're somewhere, I Mean we could throw a few on there. We're probably like 112. Yeah, we have a bunch of lost episodes. Yeah, shit, it's no, it's shit that Kevin and I recorded that. We don't know what to do it. I could, I could dig those up and be like release. So is this the lost episode exactly? Can we wait till we hit a big question? If we put those out now, they might suck none of our solo shows made it. Straight into the trash.
Speaker 1:That would kill him if we got like 2000 downloads.
Speaker 2:I that might kill me if we got 2000. I don't know, like I don't know, I probably feel fucking. So you guys later fuck you Now which way we're to the fucking son of a whore. Sorry, you'll find it. Oh yeah, ladies, gentlemen, welcome to the ticket. Deep show, episode 84 5102, fiverr yeah 85th yeah, it's 505th. Okay, all right, we're in, let's go. How is everyone's Thanksgiving? Uh, good, it's good. Yeah, I didn't like what was crazy. I didn't eat that much and I wanted to. I Feel the same way if I felt like I didn't eat anything. Now I felt very fulfilled, had a great meal at, um, uh, just his father's house. It was there, was this. Somebody made these potatoes. Oh oh, new side, I Can't even remember what they were. Just, it was almost like a Alfredo, but it was Alfredo's Cheddar curry and the where they sliced, yeah, but it was like it was minced up. So it was like you know, chunks of potatoes, okay, and it was like just this potato and cheese Dude, so fucking good, wasn't crispy, which I'm usually into the texture of crispy Nice, it was an old grottin Now. Maybe it was on top, or like fucking, it was a little crispy on top but everything else wasn't you know so good. That's the other. That'll make it for the. I made a mashed potato that would rival mr Arby's mashed potatoes. All right, where are they? Oh, they were gone, did it? Five, five pounds of potatoes didn't make it off the table now. I don't believe you know good mashed potatoes, because you would have saved that I Couldn't. There was an unleft, everyone fucking a. You should. As a smart man, you should have saved some so him and I can taste, test it and then like I can compare the. I just have to make them again.
Speaker 1:I Do what you do different lots of roast, a garlic, yeah, lots of roasted garlic, like five heads of garlic in five pounds.
Speaker 2:Five pounds, five heads of garlic, three sticks of butter and like a fucking tub of sour cream. Oh, so good. That's the holy trinity there. Yep, the holy trinity of widow makers. Yeah, they definitely took some years on some lives.
Speaker 1:But I am shocked about the amount of garlic. That's a lot of garlic.
Speaker 2:It was a lot I was a little nervous about, but oh my god, I came out so good. Then, like the second, he said that like that many, that much garlic, I'm like hmm, somebody was breathing heavy there, but it's roasted.
Speaker 1:It's different.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah yeah. I even. What about desserts? What I have for dessert, oh, I had a fucking great apple pie. Yeah, my, my brother-in-law's in-laws brought an apple pie was pretty good, it was okay. Now, what's your favorite type of apple pie? I'll a cart or a Recap with the scoop ice cream on it. I mean, is it even apple pie if it doesn't have the scoop of vanilla ice cream? Depends, because there's some apple pies you can eat without the fucking vanilla ice cream. Yes, I agree. I agree. You know how yours was. Like, what was your favorite food of the day? Beef Wellington. Beef Wellington on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:What are we talking desserts here? My cousin makes a berry pie. I don't know if you had any. He was upstairs and then in the glass pie did what was the other?
Speaker 2:No, just hit my head. Remember. There's two things yesterday that you did. I was like God, it's just so fucking Poojee of him and both of us were like laughing about it. What the fuck was it just pop. Sorry, I interrupted, it just popped into my head and I had to say it. So I don't know, aside from having beef Wellington for dessert, no, dude hit first of all that fucking thing he has in his kitchen, that Amazing silver box. The brave who? Yeah, the brave, that's what it was. I was like what was? He said the brave, I was like the brave is it was at the. The air fryer, slashed toast or oven does everything except Suck you off and jerk you off. Are you sure it doesn't does a lot? Did you try? No, during it feels like it cuz it's cooking so, but now I do that. That thing's fucking fantastic. Comes with a basket to put fries in. What does he cook, fucking? So you could reheat fries in that as opposed to putting them in the microwave? He.
Speaker 1:Wasn't reheated. I don't, I don't recall. I don't recall. I don't think it made the airs. Can we cuz? I think we had audio issues, yeah. Oh you gotta remember he was like cooking them fresh out the freezer, like he wasn't just reheating them.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's got things to do. You got any time to cook, please, please, what the fuck oh, we'd be outside on the deck.
Speaker 1:Where were they?
Speaker 2:like did I even said they send it to you guys. It didn't know me. I Never sent it to you, huh. So that means it's still in my fucking thing, what's? Uh, that don't mind us people. I hope you find it. After all, I will find it Such a lot down.
Speaker 1:No, it's not. The audience is growing. They're patiently waiting, I know.
Speaker 2:Fucking glass. You're late at lady classes you didn't put a chain on those yet.
Speaker 1:You know they go in your eyes.
Speaker 2:Can't fucking get it on, bro. Technical difficulties. Please stand by, beautiful. All right, where's he? I found it.
Speaker 1:Yes, we lost four viewers while you were putting your glass.
Speaker 2:No, we're okay, Okay, so here, okay. So here's the background to it. So I, kevin, was drunk one night.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's a hard word to use he Not in this case.
Speaker 2:However, we're all right. Well, we'll have the audience figure this out. So anybody who's watching, all right, once you watch the video, do do us a favor. Comments. They're gonna see the video. Yeah, no, they're not gonna see the video.
Speaker 1:They're gonna hear you audio. You get the audio.
Speaker 2:Um, tell me if Kevin was drunk in this situation and if it was completely out of out of control.
Speaker 1:Oh, back up to five, because we're talking about Kevin's drunk.
Speaker 2:He drunk. And if you guys, if whoever's watching feels like it's out of control, give us comments on the you know, please Come interact, interact with us, you know, come, jerk us off Whatever you want to do. Oh, okay, no, kevin wants it. Wow, yeah, I'm me, I got across the line. How much? How much you had? I'm on YouTube and I'm gay. Okay, rule tape, all right. So here's Kevin. This is. This is classic, by the way. Oh wait, I gotta make sure a Bluetooth is connected, so we don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I had to take it off. It's a blueish hue, the blue blue hue. I said let the boy watch. All right connected. And here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Listen to this. Why is it spinning?
Speaker 1:He's nuking french fries. Are you recording this?
Speaker 2:Spitting your commentary.
Speaker 1:Like he, yeah Obi-Wan right there.
Speaker 2:Obi-Wan pointing at his son walking behind him with a robe on, Really Like what sort of fucking texture, taste value.
Speaker 1:Are you getting out of that man? Ah, fuck man.
Speaker 2:It's a man who takes his cooking seriously. Mind you, this is because his son put frozen french fries in the microwave. Fuck, flicks the cigarette. I wish we could play the video. I know Like I really just want to fucking run in the air and fucking scream at him. I may?
Speaker 1:do it.
Speaker 2:That was windy that night. What kind of fucking environment did you grow up in? Not mine. You're microwaving french fries. You're microwaving fucking french fries, really.
Speaker 1:Ah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Fuck you. So every time a while I do this, he like it's funny. Every time that's the whole, not mine, not mine. I could almost hear the cigarette flick. It's how hard it was it was done. Yeah, just watching that and you know how hard he's pulling on that cigarette Because how much brighter the fucking end of it got. It like lit up the whole side of the house and then he takes it. That was it. That was it. So for those of you who were watching and just heard that audio, do you feel that Aubbs was out of line or do you need some real psychiatric evaluations? I mean, are you guys okay with cooking frozen french fries in a microwave? Good question, not okay. Obviously I'm not okay with that. I was not asking you. We already know your stance. You made that clear.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't think You're going to get 99.7% of people who wanted in the oven or in an air fryer, of course, and then the weird.3,. They probably want them soggy with like mayonnaise. It's gonna be, good. Ooh, doesn't sound bad Delicious. You guys ever have soggy french fries with salt on it, a lot of salt, pepper, pepper. But I don't know. Do you feel I can? I don't? No, I don't think you were out of line. I think it was funny as hell. Be honest with you. You were questioning yourself as a father there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like where did I go wrong?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what? I can see that Well, tamanu takes his cooking seriously. Yeah, very much so, very much so. So last night I disappeared for a little while and I'm like, oh, you're eating some food. Go to Stop Shop, that's right, we can't hear that. I'm working.
Speaker 1:I'm freaking out right now, I feel like.
Speaker 2:No, I feel like a UFO is trying to communicate with me At Stop Shop. Yeah, yes, I was a little and I was so hungry and I was just walking around. I ended up getting you grabbed everything in sight, didn't you? Like? Store brand season French fries, horned mel, chili and scallions I mean Chili fries, chili fries and scallions and cheddar cheese. As ghetto as it was walking out, wasn't a ghetto meal as delicious? You put that in the air fryer, didn't you? Yeah, it takes a lot longer, by the way.
Speaker 1:It depends on how many, because what happened was it depends on how much you put it in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the time I put it in they were like that microwave soggy a little bit in the middle. I was like mm-mm. Kevin, I'm good mad, yeah. So I said no, can't serve that shit, I'm not listening to OV1. No, no, you can't. He has the force.
Speaker 1:You got to go your own way at that. But he had the robe on, with the hood up, yes, so it was like he looked like fucking OV1.
Speaker 2:You threw the casual OV1 as he walked by, not even yet Like he said it. He has no clue what he's saying on the inside. It's the second you said one. You just see it like he turns and he's like and just keeps walking. Is there no way we could play that video? Okay, let me see. I should be able to share this to the computer. I can put it as a fucking video. Nice, yes, I can. The audio is funny.
Speaker 1:Yes, I can.
Speaker 2:And we'll share that video so everybody can see it. Excellent, All right, we're downloading. Oh yeah, Because then all I got to do is go right there video clips, load it in there and just watch. Look at this to take it deep.
Speaker 1:And not only that, take it into another level.
Speaker 2:You guys get to see it real time because of the way I was videotaping. Yes, so, of course, as a good journalist, as I am, the second I saw him getting riled up. I'm like, let me just get my phone out real quick this is not propaganda, folks, nope.
Speaker 1:This is legitimate. I was stumbling a bit too, wasn't I?
Speaker 2:You were like yeah, but it was you were doing, I was rocking. You had the drunk boxer. Look, you're like. You're like, like I was supposed to have a helmet on. You know, like I was ready for you to do like slow, like fast, fucking Rocky with the fucking toes, and just like I was ready for you to do that. Oh yeah, really, you were amped up, I was pumped up, yeah. So I mean, everybody gets to see it now.
Speaker 1:Thank God you didn't throw a Drago out there. I mean, I don't do it, drago, you know, but once this gets amped up, you can't shut it off. What, okay, as I'm receiving. What are you receiving? Video, you're in for a treat. Facebook, the Facebook for five. The.
Speaker 2:Facebook five, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:They're going to fucking back to five. Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 2:It's a take a deep show, taking it to another level here which is happening?
Speaker 1:How much of the screen is going to take up?
Speaker 2:It'll take up the whole thing. Nice. And why is it when we plan something while something silly happens? All right, just give it a second.
Speaker 1:We didn't just give it a second.
Speaker 2:I don't know what. Whoever fucking invented Bluetooth? You're a fucking asshole. Just stay connected, Unless I go dead. Stay fucking connected.
Speaker 1:I hope my house isn't dirty.
Speaker 2:Oh, would you worry about that? All right, so, okay. So let's take a look at the video and we'll see it still says I'm receiving Okay.
Speaker 1:Stay with us Facebook.
Speaker 2:This is good.
Speaker 1:This is good stuff. Something's moving.
Speaker 2:I can't see shit, dude. I am so blind. One second.
Speaker 1:We should have like the jeopardy music.
Speaker 2:I got to get. I got to get a machined for those glasses, so you just wear them around the neck? No, because what's going to happen one day, I know it, I'm going to poke my fucking eye out like one-eyed Willy with the glasses like one-eyed Willy.
Speaker 1:Wow, we went from seven to three. No, no, it was what we went from seven to three.
Speaker 2:Who the hell said we had seven. We had seven. All right, what's? Is it my fault? No, maybe it's always my fault, kevin. I'll just fuck him. No, I know it's always my fault, kevin, because I'm a fucking moron. Listen, if you're going to sit in the captain's chair, that's rapid. If Kevin was sitting in the captain's chair, we'd be making fun of him. Who treats their captain like this? He does. Yeah, you are fucking. You're what they call the people on the ship and that mutiny Mutiny on the bounds. Yeah, I like that. It's mutiny on the bounds. We'll walk around with fucking swords. Nice, I probably cut myself, all right, is that it? Yes, that's it, okay, perfect, so now do this. Do that fucking. Add a clip. Let's go. I'm for all you jerks that left us on Facebook. You're missing it. For those of you. Yeah, I apologize for the speed of my, my computer. Um, stick with us. If any of you fuckers would just hang with us, we could probably get some sponsors and get some new shit, or or a little fucking person like Chinese person, or some sitting behind the basket and fiddling with the fucking buttons and shit. We can't have Chinese people. We need a producer. They're infiltrating the US. We can have Chinese, so what? Okay, if they are, then perfect spot to do it, because how much attention can you get? Wow, no, wow, I mean listen, I mean that's the way, that's the way the country's fucking being run right now, so I might as well, okay, oh, you guys want to put it, I think it's just kind of like free falling down a hill. Yeah, oh, so you want to put the comments, Can we? Can we turn right out and get out of Albuquerque? Why we went? We went to a guard rail down the hill. Okay, right.
Speaker 1:Whatever happened to our viewers.
Speaker 2:What about them? They're gone. All right Downloads. There it is. I mean, I don't even care if anyone's watching, because I want to see it again. Oh no, it's not going to. Let me fucking choose it. Why? Why is that?
Speaker 1:I thought you had it all fucking queued up. I thought it was on the screen, yeah.
Speaker 2:The thing you had before that was on the fucking the airdrop. That fucking, that's bullshit, dude To. Why can't you use it? I have no idea. Yeah, fucking, fuck, well played, fuck, all right, fuck that video, let's move on Fuck it. Ah, fucking sucks, dude. This is why this fucking thing drives me bonkers, because somebody behind the fucking curtain can fucking do it. I bet you the asses upstairs fuck it with the connection Like fuck these guys?
Speaker 1:No, it's not the connection. Let's see what happens with this.
Speaker 2:I got a feeling it's because of the type of file. It is because I personally think it's because you're using it. No, look at, bro, I have the, I have the logo. I know you do. Look at it, I can do this. Oh, take a deep show. Hi, nice Hi. Oh, just pause. Where'd you go for us? Just pause, just pause, take a deep. You guys blow up, get your ninja. Oh, that came through, yeah that came through, yeah see, I don't know what the fucking the file type is right here, because you can't do that, move MOV, I don't know. Fucking cunts, cunts, no.
Speaker 1:I peek is watching what's up, johnny.
Speaker 2:What's up, john boy? So I mean, can we like seriously, can we start maybe trafficking some, some producers?
Speaker 1:You would have played the audio for Johnny. He'd love that. Does he want it? Does he want to hear it? I'll fucking replay it. Yeah, why don't you replay that shit?
Speaker 2:I don't know why I can't fucking put it up on the screen. Oh, wait a minute, Stay tuned. Hold, hold, hold, hold hold.
Speaker 1:Hold the log. Yeah, nice, nice, here we go, enjoy Facebook.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:That's fucking great, yeah Come on. I think we lost Johnny.
Speaker 2:No, there it is.
Speaker 1:Are you recording this?
Speaker 2:There it is Just getting your commentary.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, ov1 right there. Oh shit, he was in the room. Like what sort of fucking Look at my hair Texture, taste, value you're getting out of that man. No, here comes the foot Fuck man. Here comes the foot.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait, wait. What's it? Even says Like where did I fail Humanity? Fuck, I'm fucking releasing this on YouTube. Watch, watch, watch. Like I really just want to fucking run in there and fucking scream and I may do it.
Speaker 1:Look at my little boy right there, my little counter.
Speaker 2:The dog does meth Like. What kind of fucking environment did you grow up in? Not mine, not mine. I love how he was yelling at the door. You're wearing your microwaving french fries your microwaving, fucking french fries, really.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm like hot right now.
Speaker 2:Shit.
Speaker 1:I was pretty drunk.
Speaker 2:So that I like that. That's nice. So if you got, if you got videos you can send me, just send me, and I'll fucking put it up on here, and all I got to do is put present. Ah, I mean, we've been doing this for so long. I know nothing, nothing, nothing, but we're learning. We're still learning. Yeah, yeah, it's. I mean, you know, listen, it took us a while. We got the audio figured out. Now, look at us, we're playing fucking videos. Now I mean, we're getting serious. Next step is 10 fans. I wouldn't go to 10 viewers at once.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't go to F4. We broke 10, didn't we what? I think the last episode we had a lot.
Speaker 2:We were at eight. Eight was the max. I love our depression and we're sad. That's when we were like yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, because it's I don't know if it's frustrating or it's like what are we doing wrong? Cause I'm like you know what we do. We do good content. Did we get any traction?
Speaker 1:on that interview. Not really dude, no.
Speaker 2:No, I got to blast it out again. And what's nuts is like. I use, like certain hashtags for topics that we discussed His name, trump book, podcast, nomics, fucking anything that was discussed. We copied the summary, put it into chat GBT and I asked can you come up with 12 hashtags for what was discussed in this episode? Comes up with it and they're all pretty good, but maybe chat GBT is against me and shadow banning us on purpose because of the tax.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's a twist.
Speaker 2:No, what do you think I'm wrong? Fuck, damn it. No, it's, I don't know. It's crazy. It's what can you do? There's nothing. Listen, we just got to keep doing our thing. It's weird, the ones that. Did we get that one out on Spotify yet yeah, it goes to everything at once, so I must have missed when I was done. No, I would like. And that's the thing. Like our advertising is shitty.
Speaker 1:Well, it's zero, you don't do anything. Oh, I put stickers up. I went on sticker brigades, bathrooms.
Speaker 2:So you put, take it deep. So stickers up in a bunch of ladies bathrooms.
Speaker 1:I have like, I don't like I have.
Speaker 2:Do you repost on your Instagram or anything? I don't go on Instagram. You need to.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, Do you repost on Facebook? No, I don't really do much on Facebook. You need to Okay.
Speaker 2:I wish I had a sound bite for you all. The weakest link. Goodbye Jesus. Maddie and I are fucking reposting like like we're fucking 18 year old blonde chicks that wears bikinis.
Speaker 1:I probably take me like 10 minutes to figure out how to do it. Like that's how little I do things on stuff.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry you don't have time If you put clan clash in front of you, that's a different ball game. It's called clash of clans. Whatever, clash of clowns, whatever you want it to be. Even though I play it to it, clash of clans Is that the one I play?
Speaker 1:No, that's Royal Met. Oh, okay, all right. Yeah, big difference, whatever.
Speaker 2:All I know is this Can we, can we, can. We need to get some fucking traction. Let's kill it. Let's kill over a fucking chicken. You know what we need to do? We need to get longer spikes, longer spikes, longer spikes, better traction. Oh, I think I thought you would get that.
Speaker 1:Dude, maybe it's part of the cleansing man that needs to happen, like. Maybe we really got to do this, like.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I've only been saying it for how long Since, since he burned time, and since my life, it was flashing before my eyes, kevin.
Speaker 1:So I'm waiting. I can make something you can lay on and underneath we could put like a, like a fire of sage.
Speaker 2:Time out.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:First of all, I am not he just said he's going to burn it.
Speaker 1:I'm not a rotisserie fucking chicken dude, dude, I think you need a lot of sage.
Speaker 2:I think you need to be tied up to a spit. I don't think a little. You remember Conan the Barbarian from the 80s. He's going to put you on a hill, on a bed of wood. You set it off higher. Here we're going to put you. We got to do it down at the pond. We're going to put you in a boat with a bunch of wood. Don't mind if I got gasoline going all over the place. We're going to push you out and then we're going to shoot some arrows at you, viking, that are flaming. Dude, I got a hose If someone gets out of control you're like oh, there's a kink in the hose Once you're trying to use it. I know how you work and you're the one holding the kink behind your back. What are you trying to square? I don't know. I swear I can see that I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't really want to burn Pat, no no, I mean Maybe a little singed, not like a burn, you know, maybe burn a little hair. You know, dude, I think the flames need to like catch you so you're a real good cleanse, you know, all right, Maybe the last cleanse I had was when I was like maybe like a fire walk.
Speaker 2:I think I was 11 or 12. Oh, that's different. Oh, fire, okay, okay, like my feet, man, I probably fall and burn myself.
Speaker 1:We could get enough sage to like make like a All right. So this is where you're at right now.
Speaker 2:So this is not happening, then I'm never getting cleansed. No, no, why? What are we going to Maui Fire walk?
Speaker 1:We're going to eat like a fucking cold.
Speaker 2:How much cold are you going to cook up? We need 800 pounds of sage to do that.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, you know, start stocking up. We could dehydrate it in the brain, though.
Speaker 2:The Braveville brought to you by Braveville. Fuck that dude. Yeah, dude, my life's flashing, but it's okay. I was just. I'm like, even when I'm driving, dude, I'm like, hmm, some final destination, shit's probably going to happen today. This could be it. Yeah, I'm just ready for it. So you tell people what happened today, what you found on the truck, oh yeah, oh my God. So I replaced my front brakes forever ago and I remember taking off my lug nuts, which was the fucking hardest thing to do ever, getting them back on. I tighten those motherfuckers, like you got to fucking tighten them. Lo and behold, I go outside today Two lug nuts are off my front right tire. That's peculiar. I'm going to go ahead and tighten them a little bit, because there is no fucking way that I didn't see two lug nuts loosening up to where they came out enough, and I noticed like they were whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some. I pulled over as soon as I saw that. Like I didn't look right away, but when I saw what was being said, I pulled over because at one point today I felt like the fucking little swing. I was like, huh, that's weird. And then I was like, oh my God, he's fucking someone in the neighborhood stealing fucking lug nuts. Did you have all your lug nuts?
Speaker 2:All there, all there, yeah, so I have, I have no, did you take a few offpads car to put on your car?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Like when I went out. I'm like what is Kevin using these for?
Speaker 1:Minor chrome.
Speaker 2:Minor, minor spray painted black and the rusty, whatever they probably came out of the bay. Minor chrome from Belleville, bravil, bravil, belleville, bellevue was where I need to go after this fucking this day.
Speaker 1:But I honestly believe that somebody.
Speaker 2:Somebody took those off and I have no idea where the fuck I was parked for somebody to take those off, because they are fucking ridiculous, to get off and to fucking loosen it up all the way.
Speaker 1:So are you sure you put them on? I'm just saying, like if they're that hard to get off, I work like I want to see my my tire iron.
Speaker 2:I bent the tire, iron and putting them back on, so I'm a little sketch with accidents.
Speaker 1:Can you just like go get a little nut somewhere? Yeah, yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to figure out where it fucking happened. Somebody trying to kill me?
Speaker 1:Did you go?
Speaker 2:Is this for the? For the not being cleansed?
Speaker 1:Did you go drive through last night? Yeah, why. You go into Danbury, man, Danbury is a weird place.
Speaker 2:No, I was at a.
Speaker 1:You said McDonald's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the one in Brewster oh okay, well, that's a weird place. So I drove in drive to no one's taking lug nuts off in the drive through.
Speaker 1:Well, that's why I asked if you went to the drive through, like if you know, I'm trying to think where else I was where and you wonder when.
Speaker 2:It pisses me off even more, like where were you Remember I got? Did I tell you I got my fucking my truck keyed? Did I tell you that? No, you didn't hear that. I told you I parked it in front of Jess's house for like fucking 10 minutes and totally forgot I had something in the truck. There was nothing wrong with my truck and like I noticed you see shit in this I definitely didn't fucking miss when I noticed it. Somebody fucking keyed my car from like this much left on the driver's side door all the way down to almost the end of the passengers back door, great fucking line across the truck. I'm just going to fair warning, fair warning.
Speaker 1:Anybody got any life insurance on you?
Speaker 2:No, no, johnny's got it right. It does sound like an assassination attempt. You know what, johnny, that kind of makes me feel. You know, I'm not scared about that now, because what's the reason for me being assassinated? Well, they know, you don't use your brakes, or they didn't bother with that?
Speaker 1:Am I doing something?
Speaker 2:Am I doing something that's causing a problem in the world? You're a public figure. Yes, for four people.
Speaker 1:Love you guys.
Speaker 2:Truthfully, three of them are here to see if Jess Pauls comes on the show. Yeah, and what's even nuttier, though, is like the whole keying of the cars. I don't you notice if somebody's going down that street, and it was in the middle of the fucking day middle of the day, so where have you been parked for like an extended period of time? I don't even know.
Speaker 1:Oh, wait, cause, like the, what about when I went to?
Speaker 2:stop and shop. Stop and shop, shut up, johnny. You know what? Just because of that, there you go.
Speaker 1:What'd you?
Speaker 2:do? I just clicked it so you can see his comment. Can't give without hitting shit. Well, yeah, whatever, Johnny.
Speaker 1:It don't matter, I drive I drive.
Speaker 2:I drive like fucking. I don't drive well.
Speaker 1:See, I think if someone was trying to like fuck with you, what about stop and shop? They wouldn't take them off, they would just loosen all of them.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean, were the other ones loose, like that's what I would do, like I wouldn't take any off, I would just make them all almost off.
Speaker 2:Hey way to make yourself a suspect. Nice job. What did you just say?
Speaker 1:You know so the like.
Speaker 2:So now now now we have to the fucking show. I got to go outside and check my lug nuts to see how fucking loose they are you really think I did?
Speaker 1:Come on, but that's what I would do if I was going to. You know, try to harm somebody like that. I would loosen all of them. I wouldn't take any off. Yeah, Murder he wrote. Just saying there's a proper way to do things. And there's, you know do we have?
Speaker 2:can we play the typewriter to typewriter intro? Oh, we can't. We don't have the typewriter anymore, but we do have. We do have the BDNN, the lost tapes of BDNN. Do you remember what you were saying?
Speaker 1:On the BDN yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the intro. Yeah, let's hear it. Oh, he's just no fucking way. He remembers that News, right. All the deep news BDNN network. What?
Speaker 1:was it?
Speaker 2:I got sweaty Something you said, sweaty Dude, that was fucking great. I might have that. Yeah, I'm surprised it's not on here. Fucking shit, I don't, don't even try to find it now. No, because I have it right on the fucking computer and because I have a BDNN file which is it's encrypted.
Speaker 1:Dude your face when I did the tire track comment because like nobody knew that was coming. What happened when I did the thing about the tire tracks? You know, with the snow, tire tracks in the snow.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, yes, I know. You have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about?
Speaker 2:What are you talking about? When, the when he has to turn his fucking truck around?
Speaker 1:No, no, when I was doing the weather report on the BDNN. You know I'm the weather guy. Yes, I do. Now I remember, now I remember. Yeah, your face is fucking priceless. You're like whoa, what just happened?
Speaker 2:I believe that was where we were introduced to a certain newsman's daughter.
Speaker 1:Well, a newsman, yes, a newsman. A fictional character's daughter, yes, that's what you said A fictional daughter.
Speaker 2:Yes, let me get that straight.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Let me get it through your fucking ears Fictional no, jesus Pied. Oh, somebody's starting to sound like a dictator again.
Speaker 1:Well, I got one thing. That's it so oh yeah the fictional, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:What is it? What's that? One thing, obi-wan Moving on you have Obi-Wan. That's fucking great dude. Now we Leah.
Speaker 1:Funny. You say that I just saw a porn.
Speaker 2:I just saw a porn when the chick was dressed up as Leah. It's funny you say that that's the first time you saw that. No, maybe I got to check my watch history. That's tallying up. That can take a while. That's why I said it's tallying up. Kevin, I admit it, I'm not going to fucking lie. Do you watch that more than the Scooby-Doo cosplay?
Speaker 1:Fuck. Cloud ain't full of pictures Play.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, is that why my computer's so soft?
Speaker 1:I don't know, Maybe man.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're a fucking idiot.
Speaker 1:We need to get that thing on microphone.
Speaker 2:We were talking about the watch of my doozies, the little ones because we were talking about the wireless ones? Yeah, just the fucking to use them in shit. So Beauty on end. Oh, you're really fucking pulling this up now. Look at you.
Speaker 1:Well, I just want to hear the intro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that's that. That was pretty much all we did. It's like Sly Smothergood had a heart attack and how has he ended up being DNN?
Speaker 1:The guy said something like bringing you yesterday's news tomorrow today, or something like that. Right what? I think I said something like that. Take it easy, Cronkite.
Speaker 2:It's fucking. This is why I hate whoever invented Bluetooth. This is 98% charged, but hey, let's fucking. I'm fucking believe I hate technology. We need a little Chinese person. I mean, that's, they're all. They're all stitching Nike sneakers up, pat the bronze factory.
Speaker 1:They're putting iPhones together. Man, there it is, bdnn. Where's that Taiwan? Same difference. Where is that China as well? Whatever, I think there's a big thing about that. What about Taiwan? Who it actually is?
Speaker 2:but whatever China claims it, whatever, oh okay, so if it's a separated from I know you're talking about more disinformation damn right why. I don't know did you, did you notice anything during the week, members, since talking to the rush, if you've you've seen things where you're like okay, and now we understand why China's running everything. Has anything happened like that?
Speaker 1:I don't really think so. I've had my head down for the past couple of weeks. Man, I don't really don't know what's going on in the world that's still doing that thing in Israel.
Speaker 2:I'm waiting. Well, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I'm waiting for the next big thing to come, so Israel's disappeared I just haven't heard anything. You know, I think I heard something about some hostages being released, or something those hostages got released like a yes, and Ross is a third wave of something release releasing. That's gotta be it.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Let's see what it sounds like. Okay is, what was, what was the episode we did? It's crazy. It's absolute hot dog down on wind tunnel and then we get it. Wait, oh, oh, oh, hot Mike. Oh dick, we're pet dick. What do you mean? You can hear us, oh shit, oh, we didn't mean I wow, wow, did rain hear that? All right, just send our regards and we do apologize and we'll scratch out an apology email. Yeah, we'll give Maddie a demerit for that one, but oh, you know prayers, or whether we do, we need public apology.
Speaker 1:I line stepped again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nice guy, welcome back. Welcome back to the take a deep show.
Speaker 1:Hopefully you enjoyed our dude, we gotta go to the ones before that. Wow, there's a lot of BDN and holy shit oh, there it is.
Speaker 2:Is this the intro?
Speaker 1:yes news no, I thought, was it no? Why is it to? Such a good song strong, strong news newly received. No worthy information, especially about recent or important events, brought to you hard news that makes you plumb sweaty like fighting crime. Batman's tights, that's. That's some sweaty tights right there. News brought to you deep balls, deep balls. Deep news network hard, sweaty and balls deep. Here's our trustworthy, sweaty team eagle see freedom sing world news and political reports.
Speaker 2:I thought it would be like, like if that's something we could do consistently started out sketchy there, but the voice got deeper yeah, like if, as we got into it, like, we did do like a comedic, like news, something you know I mean, but to add a little flavor to that because it's only three of us, we were worrying about a weatherman, we were worrying about a fucking sports guy fucking. It got too many people.
Speaker 1:I gotta listen to that one again.
Speaker 2:That was a good one. There's a couple of them in there. I don't know which ones they are, though it just says BDN and the crew. What's that? That's crazy, this absolute hotdog down there. That was the one you played before.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Go to the one absolute hot. Which one? The one before it, that like somewhere on there, because that'll be the tire tracks, that's weird, you got so many of those.
Speaker 2:I know well, I think that should be our entrance music wherever we go. How great would that be if we're like, seriously like something next. You know it's like and welcome to fucking wherever. Where's the fucking song? And then you just we just walk up real almost old school fucking not old school like the anchor man. Yeah, 70s, we should walk in with 70 slow mo with 70s suits on. Oh boy bro him, I'm telling you right now he'll love being in the 70s is always gonna be Brian Fontana like, but the hamburger hanging out everything now we were, we were talking. This discussion came up last week. That's crazy. It's absolute hotdog down on wind tunnel, and then we get it wait oh, oh. Is that what I was? Oh, my god, that's what that's what you said, and I repeated it. That's what that whole intro to that was it yeah cuz we told was that we were like making fun of Thunderstyn's daughter and like the way, no, listen to the first couple words. I say we'll call her Rose, but listen to the first couple words. That's crazy. This is absolute hotdog down on wind tunnel. And then we get it.
Speaker 1:Wait, hotdog down to wind tunnel hot mic.
Speaker 2:Oh dick, we're pet dick. What are you hearing us? Oh shit, oh, we didn't mean I, wow, wow, did rain hear that? All right, just under our regards. And we do apologize, we'll. We'll scratch out an apology email or something. Yeah, we'll give Maddie a demerit for that one, but it was. You fucking said something, I repeated it and made it look like we were fucking on a hot mic. I remember we planned it that way. That was fucking great. But any who we got into discussion with sorry last week, right with you are little thing that you put together for us tonight. Did you do that?
Speaker 1:oh no, no, it's not still putting the final touches on. You know that'll be ready next episode.
Speaker 2:Sorry, you know nope, nope, nope, nope, you are fucking wrong.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, it's not. I drank a bottle of bourbon last night. I didn't get done. I'm sorry, I have a problem. I need help it's okay, you don't want to rush job on this. You know you want to see no, no, no.
Speaker 2:We need rush jobs in order to get traction.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, we could tease it for next week, just saying where is that weakest?
Speaker 2:link button. You want to get this week I. You know what this is. I think this is his behavior towards us for the whole eight off comments.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, you think I'm passive aggressive a little bit little bit.
Speaker 2:I could see dude. Yes, you are. Your middle name is passive aggressive. Let's be honest that's two words Kevin PA Aubrey. So now what? What kills me? For that I wasn't told. You're lucky. We've been recording for an hour. Fuck off this guy. I'm taking his name, everything and the fucking oven. You go head first. Not sure why that was relevant, but okay, I thought you were gonna go last, now I was doing the smoke and mirror things at the US does anytime something happens. So I just let's have sex if they forget about the comment he just made. Okay, diving head first into ovens. I got you what they used to do in the Italian neighborhoods back in the day. Yeah, I wish I was doing. I was thinking about that the other day. What's that? What like time era do you think you would have? You'd have done well in medieval times. I mean I'm gonna shut this board off right now after that fucking comment medieval times, yeah, yeah, you're that? You know who you are? You'd be the first one to fucking run and jump over there you're the multi, the guy who's the. He fucking works both sides. You're gonna be that guy like the spy kind of sorta, like not what were they calling that? Monks like friars. You're gonna be one of those friars, cuz you have the bald spot in your head. Fuck off. I thought now you see how I work, that you see how I work that you'll never taste. I'm gonna write this down. See, tell me to write this down so I could do some stand-up comedy.
Speaker 1:I just came back with a zinger on that.
Speaker 2:You'll never taste anything take it easy, tuck, all right, tuck ops Aubrey tuck what am I transitioning? And here we go. This is attraction we need earlier in the show hashtag transition that's great that's great right there. Oh no, so medieval for you yeah, slinging swords around that's.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna lie, dude, I'm listen, I'm a man. You don't have the don't give, you don't have the ankles for it, dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't get me wrong, I'm a man, but there is no fucking way I would ever go back there. No, dude, I don't need a wheeling fucking swords and shit. You're dead at 27 for a fucking tooth infection and you caught a bow and arrow.
Speaker 1:I mean you take away disease and plague. You caught the what are?
Speaker 2:they? Can't take it away. You take away with students. See, this is the problem, yeah, so you ever?
Speaker 1:you're choosing perfect world. You're choosing to go back to an era. You're not choosing to go back to get plague.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean but that's part of the era.
Speaker 1:You got it now like you could say you'd want to go back to like the 1920s, but guess what fucking Spanish flu? You would have been dead, you know, like you could say this about a whole bunch of shit, you know. So you're going back to an era of like the great part of it, not like the plague or like Spanish but how can you go back and exclude certain parts of it?
Speaker 2:That's the whole. That's the whole thing. Go back, exclude certain parts when we where we going with this.
Speaker 1:Where would you? Where would I go? Caveman? No, oh, me, and at all no, I would.
Speaker 2:You know what man I'm all, I didn't catch it. I'm like, oh my god, he's a dozen straight singer. He didn't even notice it. No, I know where he's going with it.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm a meander fall.
Speaker 2:I apologize. It's fine, I'm all done with the conversation. Okay, get, carry on. It's like that time of evolution with the fucking. I Just want to skip over to from From the end.
Speaker 1:No, keep going from the end of thought to humid.
Speaker 2:It was baby Matt, that was the, that was the transition, hashtag transition. I I was saying like I think I was like the what year I Can see myself being a cowboy and shooting people?
Speaker 1:yeah, that'd be fun. You know, I think cowboy would be cool yeah.
Speaker 2:You know he's all you. All you did was you get drunk every night and banged hookers.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, in town, yeah, yeah Till you got syphilis.
Speaker 2:Who cares about that? Then you have a drippy dick and dear.
Speaker 1:No, I'll be like that's from the saddle bitch, let's go. They had those opium dens. Oh yeah, I Think they go back to like the 18 that yeah definitely some fucking right right city oil trail smoking peyote, you know like. Like, settle your business out in the street with the fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you come on the draw me. Are you gonna draw all me ready? Yeah, but you could. But you couldn't go out from the opium den to Drawing on the street, it wouldn't go. Well, I can, I can definitely definitely multitask.
Speaker 1:I think just to walk through with saloon, but you'd be that awesome you, no, you're that like my?
Speaker 2:my vision would be I'm the, I'm the fucking Doc. Holiday version of you know of me back then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, would you be like a bounty hunter? No, I'd be a fucking. You'd be looking for the wanted guys. No, you know.
Speaker 2:I just I think the whole drunk opium fucking. Hard-playing card, playing, fucking whatever. And You're just, you're the dude in town, he's go, he's quick, don't. I said let the boy no, don't, don't draw. I got a quick fucking draw and that was it. Oh, we're back up the six. Yes, I would love to be doc holiday. Yeah, yeah, but the real Only from the movie, though. Yeah, of course the real hello, the real, the real girlfriend. Kate wasn't, wasn't a real looker.
Speaker 1:I Think she had a little bit of sif problem. Thank you, you want to be doc holiday, you wouldn't? You want to be like the saloon owner. You know something like that.
Speaker 2:I would be saloon owner yeah. I have. You're the fucking saloon, fucking Boot waxing guy now, because that's where the girls are.
Speaker 1:The girls are at the saloon, you know.
Speaker 2:They got the stairs, you know but you're not the one who's who runs them, and it's cuz there's a fucking. What do?
Speaker 1:you call, it's your place madem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know yeah you get the head madem that runs the girls.
Speaker 1:Thank you, partners with the madem.
Speaker 2:I want, I want the weight, the weight, the fuck. Apron, apron, sitting behind a bar.
Speaker 1:On rollerskates would you have big curly mustache.
Speaker 2:I definitely have the big curly mustache, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I do my best to get one too, because that was the thing back then. Right Like that, shit's for badass.
Speaker 2:The second leg.
Speaker 1:I was, I was envisioning like I totally want to, like tie someone to railroad tracks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I could see that. No, but when I started envisioning his mustache and everything, then it got to like it just went straight to horns off his head. I'm like, oh, it's like a big steer, I like that's. I felt terrible thinking about that. Wow, I Want to say that I love, and apologize, that I was thinking I'm sorry, yeah, the mustache, yeah, good, love it. Just fucking. I'd be riding you to town on a mule, yeah. But I don't know, dude, it'd be fucking great. But then you got to deal with all the like crazy-ass winters and no, fucking no heat in the house and just burning wood. Yeah, you're in a wood structure burning, burning wood for fire. It's not, you know, not real safe. Yeah, and you catch a stray bullet from a fucking horse.
Speaker 1:I could say the same thing about my house. At fireplace, you know, got a wood structure burning wood. See what.
Speaker 2:I mean where he's not a big guy. Hey, sorry, Brownsville would you. Would you be able to make beef Wellington in that structure? Mine, oh yeah, what did he just say? No wood fire, woodhouse hello.
Speaker 1:That's a great Keanu Reeves.
Speaker 2:Brownsville? No, I think it's. I would love it, though, that we. That was probably the freest time, if you think about Harley, and the Wild West?
Speaker 1:Yeah, hardly anything anything built.
Speaker 2:That must have been crazy. Be like a gold brush or anything goes be minor. I mean Minor. Now who's who's your fucking black long real quick, no good brown the gold mining.
Speaker 1:It's different than coal mining, that's it.
Speaker 2:Oh, please do tell. Yes, I would love to hear your dissertation here, your lesson on this.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean coal mining. You're breathing a lot of fucking coal dust from blasting and shit like that. So, like I mean gold, mine is totally different I know it's a lot less dust and gold mine, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, it's due to the stream. Yeah, oh, you mean you just sift into the street. Yeah, like that's just no dude, I gotta have patience. I wouldn't be out. No, no, fuck this. I'd be there for three seconds. Nothing here, yeah, but would be the first cowboy in the West with OCD. I can't fucking Me love, I'm fucking out of here. That's it. Yeah, this bullshit. What would I be shooting the gun in the war? Bang, bang, fuck this shit.
Speaker 1:I think I'd be like the hardware store owner.
Speaker 2:Where does like when your synapses go off to say that Like?
Speaker 1:where does that thought come from? You know?
Speaker 2:I'd be the hardware store owner.
Speaker 1:I'd spend all my money on gambling and hookers.
Speaker 2:The hardware store hardly made it. That's what I was to do in that time. Yeah, comes mr Orps. Yeah, he's. Yeah, that's the town dick Slinging dick. He'd be. He'd totally be married though. No, but he would be. No, I can't say what he'd be. Step He'd be stepping out no he's the hardware. He's the hardware owner whose wife is at home Abusing something and he's banging hookers.
Speaker 1:Oh, she's like she was an old hooker. She's drinking the logman I.
Speaker 2:Honey, I'm just gonna go to the bar real quick, shoot some dies, I'll be right back.
Speaker 1:And you go except the same bottle.
Speaker 2:No, no, it is not God. But um, yeah, see if, fucking jerk off, we could still be going with the your, your portion that you were supposed to do.
Speaker 1:Why he's why you harping on this man. We're doing fine without it.
Speaker 2:I know, but then I have to, I have to wing it. I'm not gonna be here next week. Well, we go. Yeah, a little big K. Well, we should have a guest host, we go. We don't do a little same Martin. Oh, friendside, or Dutch side, how long you touch side, of course, fuck the French, we Fuck you, and the fuck are you.
Speaker 1:Like we're talking plane trip or you cruising and stopping now a plane trip, okay, all inclusive resort.
Speaker 2:I don't think I'll ever go on a cruise, ever gonna crash a wedding while I'm there. Who's wedding? A friend of mine's wife, his sister, her sister is getting married, so they did.
Speaker 1:The conversation started about how it's a coincidence that you're going to be there.
Speaker 2:No, he was telling us we were discussing after a ball of bourbon about doing a vacation or something. He was saying, yes, my vacation got all fucked up. I noticed destination wedding, but, but, but, but, but, but but I'm like. So where is it when?
Speaker 1:is it nice Around?
Speaker 2:that shit. Yeah, I'm like fucking I'm going, and then not only am I going, but our buddy Freddy's going. So there's gonna be three families Frank, uncle Freddy.
Speaker 1:Nice, you bring kids. Yes, nice, nice, that'd be fun, that's terrible, oh the kid parts awful.
Speaker 2:Yes, the shitty part is like you got wait, do you? You don't have a direct flight, right, yeah, I.
Speaker 1:Didn't have a direct. You don't have to go to Miami or nothing.
Speaker 2:No, JFK Right to say more team. We landed somewhere. I figure where else we like.
Speaker 1:We didn't get off the plane onto a smaller like Puddle just gonna say you gotta be on, like you can't be on a big plane.
Speaker 2:No, dude, this shit was like it 25, 25 rose jeb blue. Oh yeah, 25. I was on something that had like eight rows. Well, usually that was that was how we went to the Bahamas the first time. It was a little fucking puddle jumper you want me to swipe down on the blade in the front, so this starts going. Why do I have to move to this side? What a string goes where? And I why? Why are you asking me how much I weigh?
Speaker 1:Oh, how many animals and cages are we allowed to have on what do?
Speaker 2:you mean, if I had our All right, did I have a bowel movement? What are you talking about, gonna? Shit my pants up there. Yeah, it was loud as shit too, and I'm, yeah, I don't. I don't like the little planes myself either. Yeah, I mean not a fan. I mean not a fan. It's I thought I first thing I thought about when I got into playing what do we do? What do you think of you? Get into a plane like that. What's the first, most fucked up thing you could think of where you get parachute? Now I Was like La Bamba. It was the fray era, fucking moron. I'm just gonna be richie balance, that's it. Oh, the difference was he was famous. That just makes me feel worse. Now, hopefully in famous one, in watching be like see, that's the curse. 7000 downloads on a quick flight, that's the curse. It's like the day we blow up. I travel somewhere and you blow up Dan, I yeah, watch that happen. I'm gonna call it right now. I'm gonna be the Simpsons, let's call it nice, it's one less share.
Speaker 1:Sorry bro, just thinking about the show I Can we put a document together?
Speaker 2:where are your shares? Go now? Here's now. Here's my. Here's my issue with that comment the way he spoke about the lug nuts earlier, then he makes that this sounds like something that needs to be on 2020. This, this episode, is gonna be. The FBI's gonna be listening to this episode one day. Yeah, can we take that out of that file? What's the title of this one? I think we're gonna die, okay. Yeah, we're gonna have to see you listen to. I think Kevin's trying to kill me. Strawberry, we found these lug nuts in your truck, in here in your dresser drawer, your bedroom. How did those get there? With a video camera and the team where you recorded yourself to taking off lug nuts?
Speaker 1:Apparently after a bottle of bourbon, while man maniacally laughing oh you were shotgunning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were shotgunning Scotch like it was going out of style move. Oh, fuck me god. Now I'm like freaking out about a tire flying off my fucking truck when I'm driving.
Speaker 1:But I wouldn't do you. You did the smart thing, you put one on yeah, I got, we got to put a.
Speaker 2:We have to put a hit out for somebody. This is gonna be the east coast west coast Rivalry.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me, me, oh, is that, is that, what?
Speaker 1:really yeah Me. Maddy came up with a plan.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we did. Can we discuss it publicly? No, I don't know, I don't know, I'm on record.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:FBI is definitely checking this tape.
Speaker 1:They check whatever they want. We ain't said shit. Nothing to see here, we gotta talk about.
Speaker 2:Sounds like, sounds like intent.
Speaker 1:Your honor, oh lawyer, we're gonna really talk about some shit yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna defend myself.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna defend myself.
Speaker 2:I'll have a gag order in six seconds. You're a gag on what the gag ball?
Speaker 1:But plug but.
Speaker 2:But plug. All right, we're off the rails and let's say hour and 12 minutes.
Speaker 1:That's not bad for a fucking free.
Speaker 2:Free, it's a dream free ball and I'm free falling Free, ballin free ball in a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:Just out of respect.
Speaker 1:Like dude if I see you're gone.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna walk out and if I know he's in the kitchen, nobody else is in the house. I'm coming out with a towel on my shoulders.
Speaker 1:So not even the conversation I'm just just start rocking. This is a point to the door and you better leave this out.
Speaker 2:You get out. This is not the men's locker room and we that comment chased our last viewer, so I think it's time to go. Oh sorry, they said I wanted to flop my dick. I Hope the lighting is real good in the hall, so violently it's slapping on the. My underbelly, kevin's gonna be like you. Look like Ken. You look like a baby rhino dry humping Looks like. Looks like Ken. I saw you. A great adventure, realize. They made people all smooth there so you were in the pond shiny. Yeah, bro, you look like the fucking elephant in the pond at great adventure going through the safari. Don't ever do that again. Get out of my house. All right, that's the way you close the show right there to describe myself as an elephant slinging dick In front of Kevin all wet. Wow, I didn't hear that, but yeah now I got to sleep with one eye open.
Speaker 1:Now you do, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:You think so. I Don't even know what to fucking say after the list or, or, or or. Or is it a real fucking curse because of the flowers?
Speaker 1:I Do think the flowers play a part in all of this.
Speaker 2:And all I say. I really do think we need to get some sage and do a little, you know.
Speaker 1:I think we need to do a lot like, a lot like.
Speaker 2:You're gonna do it here and we're not.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm thinking, like bonfire.
Speaker 2:This is what he's gonna do and he'd leave watch. This is what he's gonna do. Oh, you needed, you needed, sage, it's real time again. I can see you doing that because you have to get something done for the show. You don't get it done, you, you just. You just missed a part where he wants you to leap through the bonfire. What am I? A fucking Ballerina Leap have to walk on it. No, he said, leap through the bonfire.
Speaker 1:No, so I'm sorry. I think we have two options. How tall is the body? We have two options.
Speaker 2:I don't want the wrong leg and I'm gonna fucking sprain something and go right into the fucking fire.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of sage, like spread out on the ground for like a fire walk. Okay, like barefoot fire walk.
Speaker 2:How are you gonna set that on fire, though With a lighter? How much sage are you getting? No package your tune. Kevin where'd you put it? In the grass? I can't see it like you get some sage too.
Speaker 1:You get some sage too. Like we could all get some sage and get a whole bunch of fucking sage Right really like a fucking hay bale of sage. You never know. You know, I think you need a lot man, or we could do like a little little bonfire sort of thing and he'd do like a, like a little fire, jump across the bonfire, right.
Speaker 2:I Identify as a Leaping frog.
Speaker 1:You don't want to do the fire walk.
Speaker 2:I'm just thinking like remember I said the whole thing, like the TP thing, like we got to smoke something up and oh, oh, you want to marinate. Not marinate, but just like for a couple of marinate smoke.
Speaker 1:We put you in the smoker 100 white sage smudge sticks wholesale.
Speaker 2:We even talked about this. Sustained, sustainably grown for healing, stress relief, spiritual and personal development. Oh, oh, where's that? Bulk sage bundles on Amazon? Bam, how much sage. I'm gonna fucking buy some of this shit.
Speaker 1:How much is it Like what we talked about?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, I'm talking about wheat. How much?
Speaker 1:they got any black Friday deals.
Speaker 2:We're looking for a sale for a science give like a balayay, but like sage. Whole sale bulk California white sage smudge sticks. White smudge sticks. Sounds privileged. With smudge sticks, you taking out a stain. Nobody heard that. What is it white?
Speaker 1:privileged ARGl ate off.
Speaker 2:We got a 40 pack of sage smudge sticks. What's a smudge stick? What does it?
Speaker 1:do for 56 dollars. So I got a chapstick like what the fuck is that?
Speaker 2:Oh no, it's the fucking thing that you see movies. Yes, a 40 pack. How big is it? I don't know. It doesn't give you like the dimensions in the description, did you? It's usually like yeah, that's what I'm saying, it's individually.
Speaker 1:You know it's like burrito. Yeah, diameter right, oh yeah, did we just fucking light that up in the cardboard box and you do some. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll throw you in the loincloth, we'll paint you up a little bit. You know, maybe give you some homemade tattoos Like the island people, and we'll do some fire see, this is where, like, I need a fucking true cleansing.
Speaker 2:I need a true cleansing, fucking. Well, what do you?
Speaker 1:what do you think fucking fire jumping sounds like who the fuck is face painting?
Speaker 2:Wait, give me my phone back, let me look something.
Speaker 1:Yes, figure people that aren't getting cleansed. That's who you know. Oh my god, I can't, I can't you're gonna forget the face paint.
Speaker 2:You're gonna forget the sage. If we have it, do I got fucking paint.
Speaker 1:You have?
Speaker 2:you have house exterior paint?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna, you're gonna be like that paint near interior.
Speaker 2:You're gonna fucking dip your first your pointer. Yo, you're gonna dip your pointer in your middle finger. You're like I'm just gonna rub across your face and you come down and you go out my eyes to in the pink, the other one.
Speaker 1:You know where I'm putting the other one.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, all right. All right, all right. Hold on, hold on, all right. First, you start with a simple intention of focusing on clearing the negative energy out of your space in mind. So we meditate a little bit. Yeah, once you have your intention in mind, light the sage. Hold at a 45 degree angle, pointing the tip down towards the flame, allow it to burn for 30 seconds and then blow it out.
Speaker 1:And then what do you do with it? Then you, then you absorb the smoke that it, that it is emanating, until it stops. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm sure there's like some fucking.
Speaker 1:Like sign of the cross, shit, like what are you talking here? I don't know the ceremonious gesture that are right. I gotta call out to the devil like secret fucking Hand shake, like I don't know what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:We got it. We got to do this through the whole basement.
Speaker 1:You got a smudge the whole basement You're gonna make point of origin. Yeah, we've got to do the whole fucking house then, dude.
Speaker 2:No, I think it just it's from here Like cuz, like how to smudge your house to invite positive energy you've been everywhere in the house, have you not?
Speaker 1:Yeah well, except Matthews room in bathroom, nobody goes in there.
Speaker 2:I personally- I will personally buy an extra box of say, I definitely haven't been in Obi-Wan's bed, I'll be one through. We just, we just like that whole box up. So it's like a fucking tinder box. You kicked the door open. Yeah, we're just bombing the room real quick, stay there. We got to leave the house Just so you know this may be detrimental to your health. We're gonna lock you in so nothing gets out. You're here for 24. We're gonna get some clear plastic and we're gonna dexter up around the area the fucking doctors from ET walking in shit. Oh, not good, not good at all. Oh, that's great, that's. I don't know. All right for a show coming soon. Yeah, yeah, we could do the. We got a.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the as seen on TV tournament should be done, but I got.
Speaker 2:I got a lot of fuck. I you know what. I'm not holding my breath on it, kevin. I got a lot of things I gotta buy for this show Ready a mics and Mike arms and hookers, hookers. And I'd like to sage Did you just shoot so out of your nose? I Like an Ottoman, I'd like this. Like that was just fucking out of left field. Dude, I'd like you to slide the bottle of bourbon this way, please. I'd be great, straight out of left field.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's the weather but leather would be cool. I would accept cloth what the autumn.
Speaker 2:Oh, take it easy, spalding. Oh, I remember. No, what it? What were we talking about?
Speaker 1:That's my name for Dom. We were coming up for holding that's what. I haven't programmed it to my phone as a contact as we were coming up For a new design for a table. I'll tell you why I did it. What'd you do? I Could say like why I call my buddy Dom's balling From a caddy shack. He showed up to Fidd's like in a hat, not like that, but sort of like that Uh-huh, but it just looks like Caddy shack. Fucking dig it over soup at and yeah, and ever since then he's been spalding.
Speaker 2:Spalding, spalding. Do you make him beef Wellington? I do not I thrusts beef Wellington in ten Whoa. Yes, I didn't know, fire tuck was gay.
Speaker 1:I work both sides. Always English.
Speaker 2:Take a cock, give a cock. Oh Okay, this episode did nothing to help our viewership. No, and I feel more depressed now because of it.
Speaker 1:I know we'll see what the cigarette flick it gets. You know like the video was great.
Speaker 2:We had a viewers. It would have been cool. We were down to two when we played it.
Speaker 1:We got back up to six Instagram or whatever.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's gotta go, yeah, yes, okay, that's all I gotta do is edit the video down to that, and if I, I gotta see how long. How long was it? It's gotta go, because that that'll be our first video posted since the eye washington, do we yet, do we?
Speaker 1:have a tick tock. Yes, why don't you put it on that too? Just don't, just don't like fucking.
Speaker 2:Are you clueless of what? What we have died.
Speaker 1:Honestly, yeah, dude, I don't do the. Yeah, you know, I know. Sorry, what do you do? This Be fucking funny. Yeah, that's what I do.
Speaker 2:I, I think shit. I drink some bourbon, I think shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cook some shit, but I'm funny, it's kind of why I'm here, yeah.
Speaker 2:Pretty much some net up. Yeah, that was the bougiest shit ever. Because of that, I want to end the show is this a coca?
Speaker 1:so sloth from New Zealand, oh dude, I love sloths. Costa Rica ever look?
Speaker 2:you ever see that video, the sloth. I got rescued and the person put him on the, walked across the tree, put him on the tree and you see him turn around so slow and it looks like he smiles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like they do smile.
Speaker 2:That's the dude you want, because you'll you say something to him. You got 10 minutes to walk away. You'll never fuck you. It's great, that's good stuff. Right there, you don't hear any complaints.
Speaker 1:What was that movie where they had sloths and like the DMV?
Speaker 2:Oh, that was um, I know exactly Real fucking slow. That was great, all right. All right, let's end it for a pen up.
Speaker 1:How'd we do? How many? Oh, almost an hour and a half. How about that? Yeah right, we know. No, fucking nothing, just like.
Speaker 2:Yes, sorry, yeah, yes, the effort, yeah, once again, yeah, nothing the effort we put forth is playing once again that nothing well, why I would have? I would have really enjoyed doing a game show.
Speaker 1:Why does it all rest on?
Speaker 2:geared around Made for TV items oh oh, I got on TV. I know you want a game show or a tournament, I mean, you know, whatever, what were you doing it as?
Speaker 1:I was doing it as like a like a bracketed tournament a tournament of champions products as the, as seen on TV products were okay you know, like I haven't figured out, if I'm going 1632, how many products I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Obviously not. You haven't figured that out yet, right? But it's still in its infancy phases. He's an idea man, do you have a? Do you have a blueprint? We could see anything written down.
Speaker 1:I had. I do have suffered downtown here.
Speaker 2:He keeps on his private space.
Speaker 1:It's in my office.
Speaker 2:Where's that bathroom? Yeah, man master bathroom. Kevin's walking through the walls and shit peeping. There's one book on one shelf in the house. Yeah, I could see that. Where's he going? Where's he going? Go down to your fucking little layer. I can't believe. No Ben tonight. I thought he was out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, no, ben, whatever Did you win, did you insult him again?
Speaker 2:No like. When do they insult them all the time? I know that's part of the fucking shtick.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, I didn't know. You guys had an agreement, yeah.
Speaker 2:Who is this guy tonight? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, fucking microwaves, french fries, fucking does that? He's the bourbon guy tonight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's how we're gonna end it. Let's see, since not mine, not mine, kevin. Kevin is predicting that, since we put his video off and his audio of him calling the son Obi-Wan and freaking out about frozen french fries, let's see how the downloads do.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm predicting. What am I predicting?
Speaker 2:six, seven under a thousand, what your mind? Ladies, gentlemen, thank you for joining us in the ticket deep show. Kevin's a fucking douche. Oosh, wow, kinda hurts, man, you know what hurts. Adolf Ovens. Hello, just for a second Wait, like that.
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